I always thought that parenting was a step by step process. An A to Z process, where raising a child began with A all the way to Z, hitting all the letters in between, one after another. Skipping letters would never happen and going back wasn’t allowed. This was my thought process to being a mom or dad.
Raising a child was a one path route, no unpredictables. You might be thinking, “She’s delusional.” And you are right, I was very misinformed. I didn’t get it, until I became a parent, and my predictable route to raising a child, became very disorganized and unpredictable.
You see parenting isn’t an A to Z process, at least not in an orderly fashion. Children don’t grow and mature in an A to Z order. There’s twists and turns, big leaps forward and a small steps backwards. There’s nothing orderly and organized about it.
I even went as far as to think that God stuck to a straight path, no narrow roads, no wild rides. Stick to the plan God. Again my eyes were opened, every so gently by God, when He whispers almost daily to me, “my thoughts are not your thoughts, my ways are not your ways, but my plans are bigger and better.” If only we could realize this truth both for us and for our kids. Stop over thinking it.
With our first child very quickly I realized A to B to C to D, just didn’t work in her growth process. A represents birth and Z the mature, responsible child turned adult. We go from walking, talking, potty training, sharing, first day of school, counting, reading, dating, etc. All in a very orderly order.
Wrong!! My children are on the path of A to D to C to F to I to B to B to B to S……and so on. They move forward, skipping some letters along the way, only to return back to them again. Oh gosh, did we skip T!! R never really crawled, she butt scooted, which wasn’t considered any letter. She learned to talk before she walked. She still hasn’t learned to share and potty training has been a BIG challenge.
She caught on fast to sleeping through the night, counting and learning to pick out letters, while still learning to share, pee in the toilet and say her ABC’s in the right formation. Somewhere along the line, children make a turn for the worst, an unpredictable turn, one we never thought of or had planned.
I think our walk with God is much the same. His plans for us sometimes aren’t our plans, and we step out of the path, make a wrong turn, fail, miss an opportunity, and make mistakes. Children do the same. They may fail a test, have delayed speech, skip a grade or redo a grade. Why do I constantly believe they will stay the course? Especially since I rarely have myself.
I watch other children who seemingly are moving from A to Z in the right order and wonder what’s wrong with my children? Foolish me, no child is without mistakes, set backs and disorganization. We might hear our child needs to work on Math or isn’t understanding her biology, and instead of thinking “Oh how I have failed as a parent” or “what’s wrong with my child,” we take a deep breathe and remember life is full of unpredictables and through it all God is there.
All I do know for certain is that God walks with my children through all their steps and decisions. He’s there in the setbacks and failures and in the triumphs and achieved goals. God will help them reach Z one day, even if it takes a few repeats of R and U, and a setback to P.
We get back up and brush ourselves off. Instead of planning my child’s future and keeping them on this strict path of life, I let go of what I can’t control, give it to Jesus, and pray. I pray for His plan, His direction for not only my job as a parent but for my child.
I’ve realized life in an A to Z fashion is boring, unobtainable and stressful. Only a dream, a dream I am glad never happens outside of my sleep. Going through life with my children while repeating some steps, is much better when we realize our ways are not His ways, our thoughts not His thoughts…..our plans not always His plans, but yet life with Him is bigger and better, setbacks & failures included.
Until Next Time Be Whole and Be Fit