LOVE is a Choice

Hi Folks!!

As part of our marriage counseling, Marc and I were asked to meditate on 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, the part on love. It’s a scripture that is read at almost all weddings and a scripture we are so familiar with, but it’s a scripture we need to be living out more. If we really grasped what love is, our life and the lives of others would be so different. Love is so much more than feelings, for me it’s a verb. It’s a CHOICE!!

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In a way, Love is actually Blind. I know that may sound weird, but if you think about it, there’s some truth behind this statement. It’s how Love is supposed to be. Love doesn’t see imperfections, love doesn’t look at other’s faults, it’s blind to imperfections and faults. Love is blind to or at least supposed to be blind to, other’s annoying habits. If we truly walked in love, we wouldn’t get impatient or frustrated with others. Love is blind to the color or other’s skin or ethnicity. Love doesn’t see differences, but love embraces uniqueness.

Love is choosing to love when we’d rather chose anything but love. We chose to to love those who frustrate us or irritate us. We can make the choice to say “I love you” when we rather say “You are so annoying, irritating, or                      ” you feel in the blank. Everyday we have to make a choice to love those in our lives. When it’s easier to get irritated or easier to not say those three little words, that’s when love becomes the hardest choice we have to make.

It’s easy to love when someone is showering you with compliments, gifts, and is treating you like a queen/king. It’s easy to love when someone does something nice or blesses you. But when someone treats you like crap, gets on your nerves, says the wrong thing or does the wrong thing, it’s not as easy to show love and walk in love. Let’s admit it, it feels almost more natural to respond out of impatience, irritation, and sometimes anger.  But these are the moments where we have to make the choice to love. We bite our tongue, slap a smile on our face, and say those three BIG words “I LOVE you.”

We feel others don’t deserve love, but let’s face it, do we deserve Love all the time?! Did we deserve the love our Heavenly Father showed us when His son died for our salvation. Did we deserve the love our parent’s showed us when we were disobedient and acted like spoiled brats? That’s the type of love we are supposed to be emulating, and I feel I am definitely not doing a good job at it.

Believe me it makes a difference. I could be down right rude to my little brother at times, especially if it was that time of month, not that that’s an excuse. He always responded in love, and it blew my mind. I would call him names, scream at him for doing anything wrong, or plain ignore him. His go to line in those moments, which always made me feel so guilty and felt I didn’t deserve his love, was “Ok gorgeous. I love you and I am sorry your not feeling well.” or “You know you such a great sister and I love you. Thanks for all you do.” I mean honestly, how does anyone shower someone with compliments so effortlessly after being called “stupid” or “annoying” or yelled at for being late. I can tell you one thing, it takes humility and love. I am sure it isn’t easy for my brother to respond so lovingly, but it always made me look at myself and my attitude.

When you say I love you, when it’s the hardest three words to say, it doesn’t just benefit the other person, but selfishly, it makes you feel better. Being humble is a trait to admire, and I have always admired how easy my brother made it look. How loving he is. Believe me killing someone with kindness, when it’s the last thing you think they deserve, only makes them confused and guilty. It can also change their day. I can guarantee you’ll feel better about yourself when you replace you anger with love. When you respond with love, rather than impatience. When you calmly say “I love you” instead of raising your voice. When you chose to humble yourself and be the bigger, LOVING person!!

1 Corinthians 13 is key for any relationship, and definitely ideal for marriage. Even if you don’t believe in the Word (Bible), there’s no denying that LOVE is a choice and requires patience, selflessness, perseverance, trust, and humility and isn’t easy. There’s no denying that LOVE is really the key to any successful marriage or relationship, because if we truly chose and practiced to love, we would be more patient, humble, kind, and selfless in all our relationships. Our lives would look different. Our relationships would be different. Our world would be different, if we actively chose to love in all situations.

I am seriously going to hang this verse in my house, so I can be reminded daily what it is to LOVE. I know I can benefit from this. I haven’t been doing the greatest job of walking in LOVE. I have gotten comfortable with having an attitude towards certain people/things and letting impatience, unforgiveness and pride take root in my heart. I am challenged to chose to LOVE.

How do you view love? What does it mean to you?