Real Feminism – Fierce & Bold

I have vacillated with even sharing my thoughts on the women’s march. I don’t like to bring politics to my blog, especially with the current election. There is already so much tension in the air and I don’t want to add anymore, but there was a recent event that occurred that has left me no choice.

No matter your political stance, the events at the women’s march the past weekend were wrought with bitterness and rage. I am going to try to keep politics out of my post, while explaining my thoughts and feelings on the recent events. I want my children to know where their mother stood during this event in history and why I chose not to march. Why I didn’t feel I was represented as a woman. I want to be a voice for my children, thus part of the reason for my ramblings. I know this may hit a nerve, but that’s not my intention. I just want to use my voice, my freedoms.

This post is just as much about trying to understand why this march on Washington was even necessary. As a woman, I chose not to march for a variety of reasons. One, I was asked not to, maybe not directly, because I was a christian and a pro-lifer. Christians and pro-lifers were not welcomed, and with the march supposed to be for “all women” it seemed a little hypocritical to exclude a large portion of the population.

Also, I don’t think I am unequal to anyone. I don’t feel the need to fight and march for equal rights, because I have equal rights. I was liberated thousand of years ago. Jesus liberated me and I don’t need validation from another man or woman. I know who I am in Christ, and I am not going to bring dishonor to my husband, son, father, brothers and president in such a manner as did the March on Washington. I wouldn’t have marched for either political side, republican or democrat.

In addition, I find calling myself #nasty, #dirty and pink pussy derogatory and disgusting.  Why would I call myself something so disrespectful? A man coined the term pussy as a derogatory comment toward women and for some reason the women at the march felt this was okay to use. So it’s okay for a woman to make such a remark, but not a man? I honestly don’t get it. I find it highly offensive and would never want my young child to be subject to such language. Wearing pink pussy hats…..? To me this is devaluing.  I am a woman, and I will make a difference without being nasty.

I also didn’t find that #uterusesbeforeduderuses was very equal. I would lay down my life for my son, husband, father and brothers. This phrase just seems to scream, women are better than men, which would be against the whole equality fight right?! Feminism has grown from equal rights, to women are better than men. We use feminism as an excuse to be disrespectful, hateful and un-confident.

For me if you are a confident women you don’t have to continue to fight for something that was already won thousands of years ago. I won’t call myself a nasty girl or dirty girl. To me real feminism isn’t nasty, it’s fierce, brave and confident. It doesn’t need worth validated by anyone. It knows women are valued and men don’t have to validate their worth.

Some of the women apart of the march are under the impression they lack rights men have, but I am under the impression we have the same rights. I know I have twice beat out guys in job interviews. Some of these women believed that since I didn’t march and don’t have their same views and ideals, I am not a real woman, I am not educated. In fact, reporters said that only the educated women were marching, and the uneducated were at the inauguration. For the record, I have my masters in Human Nutrition, I was valedictorian of my high school class, graduated magna cum laude in my undergrad and summa cum laude in my graduate studies. I would argue I am educated.

Some of the signs and verbage used, didn’t represent all women, so please don’t say you marched for me. My voice was used to promote love and truth. “I’d call him a cunt, but he lacks both depth and warmth” what does that even mean. Again, cunt is a horrible word. The verbage used at the march was all verbage used in “locker room” talk by males, I thought this was a march for equality?

I tried not to be offended by the verbage I saw. Saying that “my body belongs to me, not the government, not your church” again doesn’t make any sense, because it never has in America. My body has never belonged to my church or my government. Seriously, where is this even coming from?! And what church are they talking about?

And to say that “sex offenders can not live in government housing” well that’s great because Hilary wasn’t elected. Last time I checked, Bill Clinton was the only one who was on trial for rape, Trump never has been. Want to march for women, how about the women in other nations who actually lack rights. Who are subject to rape and mutilation, who can’t drive cars or own property. I can own whatever I want, shop wherever I want, wear whatever I want, and use my body in anyway I want.

I am not afraid of the future with trump. I put my trust in God, just as I did when Obama won not once but twice. I never made such hateful comments toward a president, even when my president didn’t win. Instead, I prayed for president Obama. He was never my first choice, but as a christian I was called to honor him and pray for him. Was it tough, yes, but I wasn’t going to sink low and hate. God is ever faithful.

To me this march demonstrated hatred, dishonor and disrespect. The reasons for marching lacked depth. Instead some women used their platform to make hateful comments about blowing up the Whitehouse and hoping someone would be so kind as to assassinate the president.

Making signs and comments that state “If Mary had had an abortion we wouldn’t be in this mess” is utterly offensive and hateful. There is no reference for God. Whether Mary the mother of Jesus was meant by this or Mary, Trump’s mother is not known, but either way the hatred was felt. I read this and was immediately saddened.

Basically this March on Washington, only made me want to distinguish myself even more from the “feminist movement,” because I don’t believe in this kind of feminism.

Real feminism is brave and fierce, and bold. This is what I am teaching my daughter. That men aren’t superior or inferior to women, but created equal and in His image. We are both co-heirs with Christ. I am a woman, feminine and fierce, but not nasty and dirty. I honor the current president and even the previous president, whom I never agreed with morally. If feminism is what was portrayed at the march, then I don’t want to be associated with feminism. I am just being real.

Real feminism is confident and doesn’t have to use hate and disrespect to make a point. It doesn’t have to be “nasty.” My confidence comes from His faithfulness, so I can rest in His promises, so please stop telling me I am not equal. I believe that I am. Christ said I was equal, and a coheir to Him.

Don’t believe me that liberation happened thousands of years ago? Many women in the Bible held high roles. Deborah, one of my favorites, was a judge and led an entire nation. She ruled an entire nation. She broke the glass ceiling thousand of years ago, becoming the first woman to do so. How is that for AWESOME!!

I know who I belong to and I don’t need validation. Through Him I was liberated and free, so I don’t have to allow any man or woman to hold me down, keep me imprisoned and demoralized. I don’t allow anyone to control me. I have the ability to control my moods and thoughts. The reality is that we allow others to control our moods and thoughts, we try to say so and so made me mad, sad, angry, etc. No YOU allow others to get to you, to tear you down or cause your hatred. We often times don’t own up to our own emotions and actions and place blame elsewhere.

I like to say “I am free from you, and you are free from me.” I took control of my own voice and actions, my moods and I don’t allow myself to react to others and control my moods. I can chose how I will respond to others and I chose to love and respect. I chose to honor my president and to pray for him and to pray for all the women and men who have called me a bigot and hater, sexist and racist. I won’t let their comments control my thoughts and mood. Because I know the truth. I am liberated in Him, feminine and fierce. No man will control me. I am free in Him.

So I guess, I am just wondering how any of these comments and chants even made sense or had merit. It didn’t seem this was a march for feminism, but more a march for hatred and exclusion.

My voice will be used for love, truth and real injustice. It will be bold and fierce, not full of hate, disrespect, and profanity. I guess this summed it up for me:

“Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough, we need more women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse, we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude, we need women who are refined. There are enough women of fame and fortune, we need women of faith. We have enough greed, we need more goodness. We have enough vanity, we need more virtue. We have enough popularity, we need more purity.”

And finally:

“Our generation is becoming so busy trying to prove that women can do what men can do, that women are losing their uniqueness. Women weren’t created to do everything a man can do. Women were created to do everything a man can’t do.” 

I won’t lose my uniqueness and value. I know my value in Christ and in my family. My children will know that they are valued, both hold the same value to God and were created equal. Both liberated and co-heirs to Christ. Both called to honor everyone and to speak boldly the truth.

So, this woman didn’t march, and yet I don’t feel I am a racist, sexist, uneducated, a bigot or any less of a woman. I just believe I have rights and I am already liberated.