As you know from my last post, baby girl spent 6 days in the NICU before coming home. It was a long week for Marc and I, and we basically lived at the NICU. I was so comfortable with the hospital and the waiting room in the NICU that I even started cleaning the waiting room.
I grew used to the hospital and being a “visitor” to my own child. We couldn’t stay over night, and some nurses didn’t like you in her room for extended amounts of times. Other nurses were more friendly. Basically I was only called on when she was hungry.
I didn’t realize how exhausted I was until after we brought baby R home. I didn’t realize how emotionally draining it was for us. Marc and I were blessed with our family bringing us meals and running errands for us as needed. But it was all worth it being able to just hold her, even if it was only for moments.
My mom cleaned my house and got my groceries before we came home on Saturday evening, since I didn’t have any time for that. Marc and I would leave our house between 7 – 7:30 a.m. every morning and wouldn’t leave the hospital until after 9 p.m. that same day. Marc had to return to work by Thursday of last week, but I continued camping at the hospital everyday.
Leaving baby girl for the first time on Tuesday night, after I was discharged, was one of the hardest things I had to do. I hated it. Even though I couldn’t be with her during the night, while still in the hospital, at least I was only a floor away. I cried throughout the day Tuesday and cried on our way home from the hospital that night.
I didn’t want our little girl to forget her mommy. I knew that if she cried she may not be comforted since the nurses couldn’t hold all the crying babies. They even told me this, as they suggested I get her used to the pacifier for the purpose of comforting her when I wasn’t there. I didn’t want baby girl to feel alone.
Every night Marc and I would pray over her, and I prayed angels would surround her bed every night and bring her peace and comfort. As I got up to pump every 2 1/2 hours during the night, I would think of little girl and usually would start to cry knowing that I couldn’t be there with her. I don’t know how parents do it for months and months. After a week I was so exhausted emotionally and mentally from it.
There were days I didn’t think I could do it anymore, but then I realized how fortunate we were. Many families had been there for months, and others were from different cities. At least Marc and I were only a 20 minute drive from the hospital, and I could be there during the day to breast feed her.
By the end of the week, I spent more time in her room, just watching her sleep as I wrote her letters, or read my textbooks. I was thankful for her great nurses, especially towards the end of the week, as I was allowed more time with her.
The longer baby R was in the NICU, the stronger she got. She was off her oxygen by Tuesday, weaning herself from it. She did have to change her IV three different times, from the left hand to the right hand, then eventually to her head.
I couldn’t watch them remove it before we went home. It’s like they use super glue; it was horrible listening to her scream. She had her blood drawn every morning. She was treated for her jaundice from Tuesday until Friday. So holding her was even more limited, since they wanted her under the lights as much as possible.
By Saturday, she was acing her tests and ready to go home. There are still precautions to make with Baby R, but at least she is home with us now. I feel like we are finally a family. I love being able to hold her whenever I want, and being able to see her whenever I want. I also love that she doesn’t have to be poked at every day.
Ready to go home!!
The past week has been fun adjusting to having her home and being parents. It almost felt weird at first, as we grew used to living in the hospital. I love her little cry and the noises she makes, and I love how she loves to cuddle with daddy and mommy.
Thank you for all the prayers and thoughts through this process.
I hope you all have a great weekend and enjoy Halloween!! It’s been a busy week for me, as I adjust to motherhood and as my semester is nearly over. There’s been lots of school work to finish and final projects. I am so thankful my mom has been in town to help with the cooking and with helping with baby R.
I am very easily distracted by this precious baby girl!!
Until Next Time Be Whole and Be Fit