Oh boy Christmas is a week away? How is everyone’s Christmas shopping going? Every year I say we need to simplify and not go all out. We of course don’t, and our wallets pay for it down the road. I love giving, I mean I loving giving!! Maybe a little too much. I want to buy a gift for this person, and that person, but our budget keeps me in check.
Sometimes I forget the true meaning as to why we celebrate Christmas. I think we will be simplifying next year, in order to put more emphasis on why Christmas is celebrated and to bring a little more joy back into it. With that being said, I am completely done with my shopping and wrapping and my sister’s wrapping. Now I just need to get home so I can help my mom with wrapping. I love wrapping!!
Now for a deeper look into the life of Bry. Many of you have been around long enough to get the truth is posts, but for the new comers, these are just posts where I share my thoughts and little more about myself.
Truth is.……I spent way more than I needed or should have this Christmas. I just kept buying for Marc and R, and my family. At least they’ll be blessed, but sometimes I regret going overboard. It’s kind of a love-hate relationship. I love giving, but I hate paying for the bills later on.
Truth is…..I feel my life is at a stand still right now. Should I work outside the home? And if I do how many hours? And doing what? And who will watch R? How much will child care cost? Is it worth working, when we have to pay for child care, which is so expensive? And what if I don’t want R to be left with someone else? What if I don’t know if I want to use my hard earned degree just yet? But what if I feel it’s been a waste of money if I don’t use it? What will others think? What if we need the extra cash? My life is a series of questions and going back and forth. I truly, for once, don’t know what I should do. The only thing I need to do is pray…sounds so simple.
Truth is……I miss Montana!! I have been so homesick, to the point of wanting to move back. I haven’t lived there since 2008, but I used to go home every summer for a few months. Then 2011 hit and I have been here permanently. It definitely helps having my sister so close by, but I hate being away from my parents and other family. I don’t know why, but this year as been hard. Maybe it’s the longing for a more simple life. In Montana it’s still more simple, less rushed, and less emphasis on measuring success with what car you drive, where you work, and how big your house is.
Truth is……I have struggled a lot this past year, in many areas of my life. I was depressed and wore a fake smile and fake outer appearance in general. I pretended to be joyful, and pretended to have it all together, when it’s been just the opposite. It some days it’s still a struggle. I’ve been unhappy, ungrateful, and in a dark place. My relationships have suffered because of it. There’s just so much inner turmoil I am trying to properly deal with.
Truth is.…..I feel sad about how commercialized Christmas has become. How so much emphasis is on bigger and better gifts. It becomes a competition to see whose kids get the best gifts, who has the best Christmas cards, holiday lights etc. Jesus was born in a manager, in a stable, far from expensive and extravagant. The very story of Christmas starts from humble beginnings. A king born in a stable? Maybe God’s trying to tell us something, hmmm? The best gifts aren’t always the most expensive.
Truth is.…..I cut my hair, 9 inches in total since August, and I thought it would make me feel new again, like a brand new person. For a few days it did, and then back to reality. Still me. So no, the silly notion my hair would change my outlook on life didn’t work.
Truth is……My health deteriorated this past year. I pushed my body to the limits, physically and emotionally. I didn’t listen to it’s cries, and it resulted in a lot of care and huge doctor bills. I guess I pretended I was healthy, when in reality I was battling major adrenal fatigue to the point of fainting spells and I was having severe panic attacks. Not my best moments for sure, nor am I proud of this fact.
A little glimpse into my 2015. There’s lots of room for growth here for sure, and for me it starts by completely surrendering to my Heavenly Father and His plans for my life.
Until Next Time Be Whole and Be Fit
What about you, any Truth is?