Where to even begin ?! I guess sometimes you just need a post where you are open and honest. We can all hide how we are truly feeling at times for the sake of putting on a front and impressing others. Pretending like we all have it together.
Well if we were all honest, we don’t all have it together, and if you do, I want to know your secret. The past few weeks / months have been a whirlwind. Always going and doing and neglecting my body’s cues to slow down and stop doing so much. So here it goes……
Truth Is……I ran a half marathon over the weekend at 32+ weeks pregnant and jacked my back up. It had been a little sore every now and again, but this race threw me over the edge. Or maybe it was a combination of things leading up to the race, but I overdid it and so now I can barely walk. The pain is so severe I have almost thrown up multiple times. I am nauseous from the pain I can hardly eat. Not good when you are trying to grow a baby. Now I am trying to find all the things possible to fix the back so I can start……you guessed it RUNNING again!!
Truth Is…..Even with my back in pain, all I can think about is running. I want it to heal so I can run!! Yes it’s true. It’s my mental escape and stress relief and now that I can’t (even though it’s only been three days), I am freaking out. Maybe it’s a combination of the pain, lack of sleep and not being able to run, but I am on edge. Moody and ready to bark at the littlest of things. Patience is wearing thin ya’ll. I had to chase R yesterday and this resulted in me crying out in pain. Thank goodness she stopped before reaching the busy road, because running just wasn’t going to happen. So she’s confined to the stroller now when we go out in public.
Truth Is…….I am freaking out about having another child. I know we planned for this little one and want lots of kids, but sometimes I wonder how? How am I going to do this?! I am mentally, emotionally and physically drained. I can barely chase after the one, granted I am injured now, but still. I sometimes think “Are we crazy?!” I don’t want to be pregnant anymore, but then again I don’t want this baby to arrive for a long, long time!!
Truth Is……Pregnancy sucks!! Yep, harsh I know, but pregnancy and I don’t bode well. I am not one of those glowing pregnant women and never will be. Pregnancy’s chew me up and spit me out. No part of it is fun, besides feeling the baby move and being so close with the baby. I go from sick to uncomfortable and sick with no happy middle. It is truly a LABOR of love for me and sometimes I just want to quit it all. 9 months of it is just too much.
Truth Is……..Buying a house isn’t as exciting as I would have thought. It’s a process. It’s like they don’t tell you all the work that comes with it. It’s great having my own space, don’t get me wrong, but we have never ending projects. Maybe it’s because I am exhausted, but I just don’t look forward to all the little projects. Thank goodness my husband has been enjoying it. Okay so it’s exciting, just a lot of work!!
So that may have all sounded cynical and like a rant of complaints, but it’s truly how I am feeling. I want to just sleep, but I can’t lay flat because of the pain in my back. I have to roll into bed, which is hard when your pregnant, because it hurts so much. I have slept on the couch the last few nights, because it’s easier to get into and out of. The only time I don’t feel pain is when I am on my hands and knees. I guess I should just scrub the floors all day 😉 Just kidding.
If you have any advice for relieving lower back pain and sciatic pain let me know!! Sorry, this post was all over the board!! Is it due date yet….?!
Until Next Time Be Whole and Be Fit