Motivational Monday is here! And we are finally back.
I am sorry to have left the world hanging, and can’t believe it was able to continue on without us 😉 So much has been happening in both our lives, where time has been spent elsewhere as we tackle new challenges and jobs. I want to keep today’s post short and share my thoughts on life briefly. Although, how can you be brief about “life” when it encompasses so much?
The past month has been a whirlwind of activity, some surprises and out of my control, while other activity self induced. I sometimes go to bed wondering how did I make it through the day, while at the same time thinking of all I didn’t accomplish and still have left to do. How do you feel accomplished and productive, while feeling at a lose for time and as if you have accomplished nothing?
Maybe this is what life as a full time mom, while being a full time working from home adult who also home-schools her children is like. There’s this cry for more time, not just to accomplish all the tasks, but to hold time a little while longer so you can enjoy all you have with the ones you love. At the same times wishing time would go faster, because it’s all to much and the season has to end. I will be honest, I feel defeated more than I feel victorious. I feel alone and empty, more than I feel companionship and comfort. I feel I have wasted my days more than I have been productive with them, even though I have been running around like a mad woman ALL DAY LONG.
Taking time to read a chapter from a book seems like a “treat” that I tend to feel guilty about, because there’s numerous emails to reply to and research to be done for work. Or there’s laundry to fold, kids to love, hold, feed, and play with, and even sleep to try to catch. Even writing this post seems like it shouldn’t be on the top of my priority, because I have too many “top” priorities in my life right now. I don’t know which SHOULD truly be at the “top” anymore.
Even though I feel so much defeat and I spend many nights in tears. Tears because I’ve yelled too many times at the kids. Tears because I didn’t get the new client, even though I was as persuasive as I could have been. Tears that I forget to reply back to those emails, and it cost me at work. Tears because the dishes don’t stop, the laundry is endless, my eyes are heavy but yet I have so much to do. Tears because I spent way more time engaging my work than my children. Tears because I just wanted 5 minutes to enjoy my coffee but my middle decided to color the couch. Tears because I didn’t do enough at work. TEARS!!
I feel like a walking time bomb.….ready to explode at any moment. The smallest things putting me over the edge. It’s Saturday and Sunday and I am still working……clients plans, researching for one job, paperwork for another job…….I have texts messages from days ago to still respond to, family still waiting for me to call them back……….I feel exhausted thinking of it all. Most days I feel I have failed at everything. Being a mom. Being a daughter. Being an employee. Being a coach. Being a sister. Being a wife. Being a friend. FAILURE!
But there is Hope for me…Hope for us all! God offers rest. He says “Where you are weak, I am STRONG!” Oh the power in the Great “I am.” I find we do not truly understand that God is outside of time. After all He is the author and perfector of our life. He created time. We need to stop saying “I don’t have enough time, ” “I am not good enough” and “I have failed.” Our words are powerful. Even our thoughts are powerful. The Bible reminds us that “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” – Proverbs 23:7
We can take our thoughts captive. There is Hope. There is a new day. There is His strength and His time. “Where I am weak, God you are strong.” I am managing my life, but not alone, with God’s grace and goodness. I am letting go when I need to. I am not perfect but He is and He never expected me to be. His wisdom, peace and strength. I have learned it’s okay to say you can’t do it all, because we were not designed to do it all ourselves. That’s why God created spouses, friends and family, but more importantly that’s why God gave us His strength and grace. I don’t walk alone and either do you. In the midst of your storm and chaos, God brings peace. He lifts you up and carries you out. He carries us through the battles…yes there will be battles. But they were never meant to fight alone. They were never meet to defeat us. They may leave us bruised and battered, wounded, but He created us for Greatness. He works all for GOOD, in His perfect timing. But there is HOPE………
Until Next Time Be Whole and Be Fit